In my over 13 years of single parenting, I have observed that many people would love to be of assistance to Single Parents if only they know how best to help. So here are a few suggestions of how to help.
- Be determined to be a positive voice in the life of both the parent and child/ children.
- If you must comment on their parenting please do so in love and not in the presence of their children. God divinely ordained parenting to be done by two parents but most times circumstances thrust people into solo parenting so the least you can do is be a positive voice not of condemnation.
- Sometimes offer to babysit. And let them know where the best deals are in town. Also offer to help with errands.
- If you are a man who genuinely is interested in helping out a single mum financially, please find ways to do that without demanding amorous favors. The reward God has for you is much more than anything a human being can offer you in return for your kindness. Alternatively you can help her through SPSN (Single Parents Support Network) and we will be glad to facilitate that for you after an agreement has been reached. Many times well meaning people start to help and then the relationship turns south complicating matters.
- Desist from judging these parents harshly you do not know their full story! Also do not punish the children for the sins of their parents. Create a nurturing environment for them to thrive.
- I observed that male children of single mums cringe when people call them mama’s boy. Since they did not choose their circumstance, kindly call them by their names or simply, young man and leave them with a positive comment. Let us commit to building up these angels not tearing them down.
- Be a great role model. Model good/godly behavior in front of their children and treat their parents with respect.
- Please do not speak negatively of the absent parent in front of the children. This hurts the children. Children love both parents and usually have conflicting feelings about the absentee/neglectful parent. Speaking ill of them in front of these children is like turning a knife in their wounds.
- Always remember that parenting is a journey not a destination. Let us desist from labeling these children for momentary wrongdoings. Find appropriate ways to discipline the child and keep loving/respecting them.
- You can outright ask how you can be of help. Gift cards for grocery shopping and/or to the spa for that haircut/hairdo, massage, pedicure, manicure, bookshop can be life saver.
- Remember them in prayer always and frequently ask for their prayer needs.
- Remember, it takes a village to raise a child. So your actions and in-actions carry more weight than you will ever know.
These are just a few pointers that can greatly help you to be of tremendous support to a single parent family in your church, family, workplace and neighbourhood.
Have a blessed week!
Emefa Gadze
emefagadze 