Our society’s attempt to shame single mums especially divorced and never married mums is laughable to say the least!
People get shocked when you present yourself as a proud and happy single mum. Why should I bow my head in shame when God in His infinite wisdom chose to entrust a whole human being in my care?
Why should I be ashamed for finding the courage to birth my child in my unmarried state, in a so judgemental society!? Why should I be ashamed for choosing Life for my child/children?
Why should I be the one who should be ashamed for walking out of an abusive marriage?
Why should I be the one who should be ashamed for being divorced by a man who felt I wasn’t good enough for him despite me putting my all into it?
Why should I be the one who should be ashamed even though I bear 70 to 100% of providing and raising these gifts of children to be fruitful and decent human beings?
Why should I be the one who should bow my head in shame when most often than not, I’m the responble parent?
Why are you so shocked I am not ashamed to wear the Crown of being a single mom/parent with great pride and joy?
Do you want me to be ashamed of my child/children?
Do you know what I have survived? Do you know that the very thought that I’m alive, sane and thriving sends joy like a river coursing through my whole being?
Do you know that I’m a pillar in society?
Do you know that I have raised and continue to raise amazing men and women who are pillars of societies around the world?
Do you know that I have singlehandedly raised sons who are amazing husbands and fathers even though they did not have fathers themselves?
How dare you stigmatise me to perpetuate the stereotype views about Single moms/parents?
Do you have a clue, the sleepless nights I had to endure to raise these heroes and heroines?
Do you have a clue the village that worked tirelessly to ensure I got my confidence and strength back after I fell flat on my face many times along the way?
Does it make sense to shame the responsible ones who stay and raise the children and hail the irresponsible fathers who abandon ship…. well because they can and we have empowered them by our coddling silence to can?
Being surprised at my confidence and pride of being a single mum, is asking me to be ashamed of my child/children. It is asking me to diminish the sacrifice I put in to raise them. It is asking me to devalue the inputs of my village and I cannot do that.
I’m thankful for my journey. I’m thankful for joy, peace, strength and wisdom. I’m thankful for my village who lift us up daily. I’m thankful to the Almighty God for His peace and many blessings. I’m thankful because abundance is coming my/our way in many forms.
Maybe just maybe you are the one who needs to interrogate your conscience and bow your head in shame?
emefagadze 