My 3 Gifts For The New Year

It’s a new year! The positivity around the new year is exhilarating! The heart-warming wishes as we wish everyone, even strangers a Happy New Year, going as far as pronouncing blessings is a beautiful experience I never tire of experiencing. Oh.. how I wish we could freeze those moments and replicate them throughout the year. Since I am unable to freeze those happy, joyous moments and make them last, I am gifting you with 3 things that has the ability to keep your energy positive and your heart smiling through the year.

My first gift is, have a vision. Vision according to Merriam-Webster dictionary is the ‘act of power of imagination’. It needs you to create a vivid mental image of how you want your life to be in all aspects. Transfer this vivid imagery you have into writing and ultimately create a vision board, hang it at a place where you can see it every day to remind you of what you need to be focusing on. This simple process if done right has the power to shift your life in the direction you desire and helps you thrive.

Invest in your well-being is my second gift to you. This is a very fundamental but often neglected aspect of our lives. We wear many hats and it is next to impossible to fully blossom if we are not intentional about pouring back into ourselves. We get hurt, disappointed, in some cases devastated and wounded in the course of living life, and same seriousness we give to physical wounds, it is important we give to invisible ones as well to ensure we heal properly. Healing well keeps us supple, hopeful, positive and powerful. How do we sustainably pour into ourselves in the face of so many demands on our time, energy and other resources? We need to;

Prioritise your spiritual practice to develop/strengthen your personal relationship with God.
Create a Personal Value System.
Build a team of experts around you who help you navigate life’s complexities

My third and final gift is fall in love with Gratitude. Being intentional at identifying all our blessings has the ability to positively revolutionise our lives. Gratitude journaling helps us to focus on the good. I suggest you get a beautiful journal for this practice; identify at least 5 things that you are grateful for daily. This also serves as a magnet that keeps attracting all the good things you are grateful for to keep flowing into your life because what we focus on grows and what we starve dies.

I believe strongly that by unwrapping these 3 gifts; having a vision, investing in your well-being and falling in love with gratitude you will set yourself up intentionally to flourish in this season and beyond!

What is disturbing about ‘Love Your Neighbour As Yourself’

I have been thinking about this scripture so much lately and what it means regards human relations in every area of our lives.

We casually throw this statement about but it’s one that is very deep and multi-faceted.

I have been guilty of touting this as the best way of navigating relationships as well. So why the sudden change. It struck me that ‘love your neighbour as yourself’ is a major reason why the problem of dysfunctional relationships exist.

The very statement assumes that everyone has mastery in loving themselves in a healthy way; which we know is not the case in many cases.

Having a healthy selflove is rooted in the ability of being self-aware. Self awareness requires that you are aware of your strengths and weaknesses which enables you to draw healthy boundaries, and practice effective self-leadership as a result. When you are aware of what your make up is, it enables you to know how to nourish yourself which is part of self love.

Once you stay loving yourself in the way you need to uniquely consistently, you navigate life refreshed, full and overflowing in your spirit, soul, mind and body. Its only then that a person can extend what is already overflowing in them to another because people can only give what they have.

Making time to get to know yourself to know how to love yourself is a sign of self- worthiness . It is when we are awakened to the fact that we are worthy that we become intentional at selflove. And more often than not, people who live from a place of worthiness are able to place priceless value on another human being and love them as much as they love themselves.

Bottom line, more often than not the way we show love to people is a reflection on how we love ourselves and our sense of worthiness.

How are you loving your neighbour in this season of your life? What does that say about you?

Our Thoughts Create Our World

One thing I am incredibly thankful for in this interesting season is my new found love for gardening. It has been such a soothing, fulfilling and learning experience for me . Apart from the fact that I just love the smell of earth and fascinated by all the hidden lessons in planting and reaping, its become a place to quiet my thoughts, reset, think and pray.

I had always wanted to use the space at the back of the house for a a garden since I moved here some time ago but the busyness of life and me not prioritising it kept getting in the way then 2020 happened. We were under lock down; I decided it was now or never… so armed with my secondary school (high school) knowledge gained in agriculture class, I proceeded to get some help to prepare the space for planting.

We uprooted and planted 3 seedlings of plantain I had growing crowded and that summed up my whole garden. I will go back and admire my near empty garden space and think about all the other plants I want to see growing there. By the second week without me asking, one of my neighbours came with help in tow to ask me if he could help me plant cocoyams and okro in the garden. I was completely blown away by his generosity of time, money (he paid the young men for their time) and seeds. Whiles reflecting on this act of kindness shown me, I remembered how thoughts of growing plants I liked had consumed me for a while and just like that, I had manisfested what I had been thinking about.

Another incident that comes to mind happened just a few days ago. I had engaged a young man to help me pull out weeds from the garden. As we worked together, I just thought it will be great if he moved further to another section of the garden and concentrated on that area while I also focus on the opposite end. I didn’t voice it out because I thought it was not necessary since the bottom line was I just needed the garden rid of weeds! I noticed a movement about a minute later, lifted my head to investigate just to see that the young man had moved to the specific section I had thought earlier will be great for him to move to. I was startled because I hadn’t voiced out anything but my thoughts had once again created the reality. I shook my head, smiled to myself…amazed.

Like me I am sure many of you have experienced countless happenings like that in our lives. That is why its important that we guard our thoughts and intentionally direct them to what what we want to see manifest in our lives. How do we do that? Certainly by not surpressing them! On the contrary allowing them to flow examining their roots, also asking ourselves whether those thoughts will enventually help us manifest our personal master plans/visions. That is how we can identify which ones are aligned and the ones are arent.

Secondly, it is important that we are mindful of the thoughts we allow to take root in our minds because that eventually becomes our reality.

Finally lets also become mindful about the people we surround ourselves with, who speak into our lives because small minds have never been known to birth great things. So as this new week begins, ask yourself the following;

What do you want to see happening in your life?
What thoughts are you entertaining and focused on?
Why are you focused on those thoughts?
Do they align with where you want to go or see happening in your life?
Who are you allowing to influence your thoughts?
What can you do differently to practice aligning your thoughts to your goals?

As everyday is an opportunity to begin afresh, may we all be conscious of the fact that our thoughts are truly powerful and have the creative ability to transform our world.

Hope

When we lose hope we become easy prey for oppressors: both physical and spiritual.

My prayer for us all in this season is that God grants us the grace and inner strength to continuously be hopeful no matter what.

That we create communities where when we feel hopeless, we will be lifted by the hope we see in others. Hope has been the Single factor that has pulled many out of unthinkable situations to places of complete liberation and rest.

Let’s acknowledge the pain, hurt, confusion, and the feelings of helplessness/hopelessness; release those and be intentional at guarding our hope.

Hope creates the foundation we need to build what we want to see. Hope enables us to see. Hope enables us to dream. Hope enables us to identify the good. Hope enables us to see stinking situations as manure that can be used to fertilize and realize a beautiful dream.

Hope keeps the atmosphere open and ready for the manifestation of what might seem impossible. Hope enables us to keep taking care of ourselves and putting one foot forward after another because in our minds eye we can see a better tomorrow so we stay preparing for it so that once what our mind sees manifests, we can be in a good place to step fully into it to play our part with excellence.

Hopefull people never lose. Refuse to lose by being quietly or loudly hopeful. Guard against surrendering to hopelessness… It spirals quickly into something else. Even though you can’t see it or feel it hope is been an age old powerful force responsible for creating powerful positive shifts in people, places and situations that were otherwise hopeless.

Never underestimate the power of hope. After you have done all… stand in quiet/loud hope.

RefuseToLose #StandingInQuietHope #Unstoppable #ItsMyBeautifulSeason #ItsYourBeautifulSeason #ItsABeautifulSeason

Kobe Bryant’s Exit and Legacy

As movie nights have become a thing in our home, my son suggested we watch a movie last Sunday night. Armed with popcorn my son made we settled down to have an entertaining evening. So I found it odd when he went into his room in the middle of the movie without a word.

I gave it a few minutes and followed up to find out what was up. That was when he mentioned the notification on his phone regards Kobe Bryant’s death. Oh I don’t envy parents whose children are involved in the sports world this week. I sat down and hugged him. He was in shock. We were in shock. We talked about it for a bit and I left him to process.

I guess I was fielding off the pain that I knew was going to hit but when I later read that his daughter Gianna was with him, I let the pain hit for real, it engulfed me from head to my toes. I was numb with pain. My mind and heart hugged this wife who has lost both hubby and daughter in a moment.

And it didn’t help that news came in that 7 others were on board. The pain of this horrendous loss to the Bryant, Altobelli, Chester, Mauser and Zobayan families can never be compared to what the rest of the world feel because they are literally living this nightmare neither does it invalidate our pain.

I struggled to sleep that night as so many questions flooded my mind. I wondered how God will allow this to happen to such dedicated family people. I thought of all the deadbeat dads and Irresponsible husbands and moms who don’t care for their families and couldn’t comprehend.

Of course intellectually I knew that death is no respector of persons and death is eminent and part of life but emotions don’t make sense always and mine didn’t.

These are times that I’m thankful for my belief in the same God I questioned because when my mind cannot make sense of happenings, I leave it to His sovereignty and trust that He will make good of this mess as only He can. He is the only person who specializes in turning horrendous unthinkable situations into some good.

It’s happening already. We’ve all been reminded again how important it is to live life intentionally loving on one another because all we have is the present. To live life responsibly, make an impact and leave a legacy.

‘The full length of a frog is seen only in its death’ is a Ghanaian proverb which indicates that we only see the full impact a person has had after they die is true in Kobe Bryant’s case.

In a world that is still recovering from the devastating effects of the lack of inclusion of the family system in professional spaces, it is a breath of fresh air that successful male figures like Kobe has left a legacy of being an involved father and loving husband. He was a loving friend and involved uncle. His tribe felt his love and care.

In the wake of his death the hash tag #GirlDad is trending; there’s an emphasis also on him as the wonderful family man he was, as much as an iconic basket ball player and accomplished business man.

Kobe has shown us that with the willingness to put in the work and evolve, it is possible to win in both family and professional spaces. And that is what most of us aspire to.

May our God who is able to do the impossible heal Vanessa Bryant and her girls and all the beautiful families grieving.
May their death not be in vain.

Own Your Being

A few Sundays ago I was at the reception of a hotel out of Accra, waiting for a friend. It was a small countryside hotel and receptionist had stepped out briefly. The manager walked into the space I was in, my head was buried in a magazine, he greeted, I lifted my head and responded and went back to my reading. The next thing he said was, you have such a commanding voice….I looked up at him, wasnt sure how to respond…I had many questions for him….like, can you help me understand what you mean by that statement? etc…but I caught myself, smiled, nodded at him because I was genuinely at a loss for words and went back to my reading…determined not to start any conversation because my instincts knew where that was going.

I do not remember any time in my entire existence that my voice did not serve as a threat to another being. It got to a point, I had a joke among my inner circle which went…’I am for peace but when I speak they are for war’ ..thankfully I am not the type of person who tries to reduce herself to fit into any stereotypical ideals. I have two voices, one is deep and one is feminine, depending on only God knows what any of them chooses to come out at any given time and I do not have control over that….ouch.

Secondly I am very confident woman, having had the influence of a very strong Dad early on in life, the moral support of uncles and brothers who affirmed me along the way, I know no other way of being than to be confident. Granted life happened time and time again, kicked the very life out of me and I was convinced I was not going to come back from this blow, but I kept surprising myself by the grace of God, digging myself out of whichever hole it is and bit by bit gaining my confidence back.

I have come to realise that my voice, confidence and general personality can be intimidating to a person even before I open my mouth. It bothered me for a long time how people misunderstood me generally until it got to a time where it didnt matter anymore. I told myself, I will not be accountable for the conclusions people arrive at because of my voice literally and my voice figuratively. I chose not to apologise for my persona anymore because it is a priceless gift to be bold, confident and empathetic. I accepted myself fully, completely warts and all. It means that my passion about issues will be misunderstood sometimes but then every now and then I realised that there is a group that heard me beyond my literal voice, they hear my heart and that kept growing and growing over the years.
Then I realised I was called to a particular people, not to everybody. I was tailor-made to be a voice to particular people across the globe and I have not looked back since.

Now back to the gentleman at the reception who commented about my commanding voice…I chose to ignore because I needed my energy for the people I am tailor made for. For the people who are and will be grateful that I inhabit the earth….there’s work to do, there is a legacy to leave and the work sometimes can be daunting so I chose to rest so I can have the energy to war more purposefully another day.

To that girl or woman who is always being taunted for having a powerful, commanding voice and a very intimidating presence, remember you didnt create yourself. God in his infinite wisdom chose to create you this way and we both know He had a reason for creating each of us with our beautiful differences and uniqueness. I hope you never lose your voice and great persona, diminishing yourself because of people who cannot grasp the greatness that is you.

Remember, you are tailor-made for a people whose destinies are tied to yours. This is not entirely about you. You needed to be the way you are to be able to fulfill your God given purpose. Don’t loose your essence, keep overcoming so that you can use that powerful voice and ‘intimidating’ persona for good.

Hugs to all my #TooLoud, #TooKnown, #TooMuch ladies out there….keep using your voice for good.

#OwnYourBeing #YoureMadeForMore #DontLooseYourEssence #PursuePurpose #UseYourvoiceForGood
#TheExecutiveLifeCoach

Haters

The way conversations and statements about haters is being thrown around these days sets off a discomfort and uneasiness in me that is being difficult to shake off.

I have had my fair share of people who do not agree with me on many levels on issues that I’m passionate about. I have had people who I thought had my back sabotage me in ways that in some ways, I’m yet to recover from. But the question remains are they haters?

Believe me when I say I have pondered over this a lot, seeking answers. I have read around a bit and wanting to understand the trending label of haters. I chanced upon this video of Tyler Perry in the Lakewood Church talking about the same subject and his explanation resonates with me more. In the message titled climb and maintain, he gives an illustration of when an aircraft takes off and is flying.

When there are people who have supported you consistently and seem to all of a sudden abandon you or now there seem to be some Form of misunderstanding, it’s not always because they are haters. It might be just that, they are just going through a rough patch themselves, it might be hormones(especially for women at a certain stage in life) itighy be that their role in your life is over and they are handing over the baton to the next person who has been designated to be with you in the next season of your lifes journey.

When you are leveling up, a new job, marriage, entrepreneural endeavor, relocation, more commitment in your faith, more committment to your goals, decision to be committed to family life etc, not every single person in your circles will understand, your changed behavior and support it. And that is okay.

I have come to understand and accept that it’s okay to be misunderstood and sometimes in the bid to explain ourselves to people who are committed to misunderstanding us, we lose ourselves along the way.

It could also mean that I might not have been communicating the right way and learn to improve on my communication skills. It could also mean that I am burnt out from all the demands regarding my decision to level up and I am also growing and adjusting in finding my feet in my new season.

It could also be that I didn’t choose a good friend from the beginning and so the new season or changes in my life has revealed that fact.

We need to have deep introspection, have honest conversations with ourselves and get to the root of issues before we start to label others as haters. In the absence of that we are prone to make the same decisions over and over again and we will be stuck with the mindset that most people are haters when we are the ones who are the common denominator in all the relationships we’ve had.

Another angle to look at this is not everyone is equipped to do the next level of life with you…..pause let that sink in. Does that make them haters? Does being ill equipped to handle something that is beyond a person’s capacity make them haters?

Other times people are also going through their own seasons of change. Seasons of change can be pretty brutal on a person. It could be an empty next, menopause, peri-menopause, a health issue, financial situation, career complications, family drama, death of a loved one etc etc. Even positive seasons of change can make a person seem unsupportive towards you.

I have lost count on how many friends and family relationships changed when they got married or relocated or got that dream job etc, etc and rightly so.
Others the overwhelm that such changes brought into their lives still remained steadfast in our relationship.

Sometimes people just outgrow us… Ouch… truth hurts right? Or we’ve just outgrown them as well. It’s healthy. I know it doesn’t feel that way right now but that’s exactly what you need.

It could also mean you are right, that the heat in your life, the purification process that is required to level up, revealed the snakes in your life. It can be brutally hurtful… but I hope we are all able to pick ourselves and heal from that, forgive and have some energy left to move on.

I hope we survive the loneliness that leveling up requires, as you build a new tribe at every stage and I hope we do the work to heal, leave the baggage behind, travel light and be able to embrace all the richness in new friendships and relationships in your new season.

It is time we begin to look within, it is time to let go of relationships that no longer serve us with grace not resentment, being grateful for the beautiful years we’ve shared. It’s time to make forgiveness a lifestyle. It is time to embrace that snakes are part of the earth’s eco-system and equip ourselves so when we find one within our circles, the discovery will not become our permanent undoing. It’s time to set a reminder that not everyone is equipped to be with us in every season of our life. It’s time to embrace being misunderstood. It’s time to set the values right when choosing our tribe. It is time to learn how to communicate well. It is time to embrace the loneliness that comes from leveling up, believing we will find those who are supposed to ride it with us. It’s time to understand that fact that majority of people we’ve labeled as haters, could it be that they are not?

Here’s to all the friends and family who choose/are equipped to stand by us through all the different seasons of life, and continue to remain fiercely loyal even though sometimes they do not understand us. Thanks for being the comfort blanket we need, the safe place that reminds us that we are worth unconditional love.

An Inheritance or a Paycheck: Which one do you prefer?

Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.

Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward and that master you are serving is Christ. Col. 3:23-24 (NLT)

Whatever maybe your task, work at it heartily (from the soul), as (something done for the Lord not for men; knowing (with certainty) that is from the Lord (and not from men) that you will receive the inheritance which is your (real) reward. (The one whom) you are actually serving (is) the Lord Christ (the Messiah). Col. 3:23-24 (AMP)

Servants, do what you’re told by your earthly masters. And don’t just do the minimum that will get you by. Do your best. Work from the heart for your real Master, for God, confident that you’ll get paid in full when you come into your inheritance. Keep in mind always that the ultimate Master you’re serving is Christ. The sullen servant who does shoddy work will be held responsible. Being a follower of Jesus doesn’t cover up bad work. Col. 3:23-24 (MSG)

My favorite is the MSG version, phew God’s standards are sure high! Sometimes when I read the bible I say to myself, this is a hard saying, who can bear J but I remember that God is the one who gives us power to become children of God. Which means we are unable to obey His word by our own strength unless we are willing and surrendered, then he empowers us to obey Him.

That being said, the reality is some work environments are just toxic. The in-thing in most places is most businesses and organisations are more concerned about the bottom line than the people who work for them. This leaves room for abuse because whoever can work the system by ‘whatever’ means gets to win.

This message is for those who have done their homework well. You are abreast with happenings in your area of expertise and then some. You have upgraded yourself such that the only thing you have not done yet is a PhD! You are diligent in your work, working well with the right attitude and excellently. You have prayed, fasted, sent out several applications, attended interviews in the hope to change jobs yet nothing positive comes up. It looks like your life sentence is just working smart and hard whiles watching other people who seem not to be putting in much effort reap the rewards. You have spoken up several times about this to your supervisors and HR and you get full assurance that you will be sorted yet you keep being overlooked all the time for promotion.

Interestingly, you have become an institution J (no pun intended!) for training people who are strategically placed and eventually move into more rewarding positions. In the meantime, your 40ft containers full of prophesies of your impending breakthroughs are exploding at the seams. God has even confirmed to you personally several times that He will do it. Amazingly, you stand in the gap for other people regarding the same issue and like magic things fall into pleasant places for them.

In my Christian walk I have come to believe that even though the word of God sounds FOOLISH most times, when you brace yourself and obey, the rewards are mind-blowing. A sister-friend of mine always says that God is a show-man and I have personally experienced that truth in my life; He is indeed a showman. I can say without reservation that if you are an obedient Christian, there is no way you will lose out. Even if what you believed God for does not materialize in your lifetime, generations after you in your bloodline will enjoy the good seeds you are sowing today.

I know generational thinking is not very popular in this era, we want everything and we want it now but really when you think about it which one is better, great paycheck with super position and benefits or a lovely inheritance from our Lord Jesus Christ who has the whole world with its riches in His hands? You be the judge.

He might even choose to pleasantly surprise you with both the great paycheck with super position and benefits and a lovely inheritance. He is God and sovereign so after you have done all my brothers and sisters just stand. Your labour will NEVER be in vain. He is super faithful.

Hugs to all who are feeling unappreciated/unrewarded/invincible/ in the workplace.

Have a rewarding day!

Emefa Gadze