Hope

When we lose hope we become easy prey for oppressors: both physical and spiritual.

My prayer for us all in this season is that God grants us the grace and inner strength to continuously be hopeful no matter what.

That we create communities where when we feel hopeless, we will be lifted by the hope we see in others. Hope has been the Single factor that has pulled many out of unthinkable situations to places of complete liberation and rest.

Let’s acknowledge the pain, hurt, confusion, and the feelings of helplessness/hopelessness; release those and be intentional at guarding our hope.

Hope creates the foundation we need to build what we want to see. Hope enables us to see. Hope enables us to dream. Hope enables us to identify the good. Hope enables us to see stinking situations as manure that can be used to fertilize and realize a beautiful dream.

Hope keeps the atmosphere open and ready for the manifestation of what might seem impossible. Hope enables us to keep taking care of ourselves and putting one foot forward after another because in our minds eye we can see a better tomorrow so we stay preparing for it so that once what our mind sees manifests, we can be in a good place to step fully into it to play our part with excellence.

Hopefull people never lose. Refuse to lose by being quietly or loudly hopeful. Guard against surrendering to hopelessness… It spirals quickly into something else. Even though you can’t see it or feel it hope is been an age old powerful force responsible for creating powerful positive shifts in people, places and situations that were otherwise hopeless.

Never underestimate the power of hope. After you have done all… stand in quiet/loud hope.

RefuseToLose #StandingInQuietHope #Unstoppable #ItsMyBeautifulSeason #ItsYourBeautifulSeason #ItsABeautifulSeason

The In-law Factor and Lack of Boundaries in Marriage

The wedding season has began and many people are preparing to get married before the end of the year well into February the next year.

If your partner is the type who is not able to set boundaries with parents and family members now, please think twice before you commit.

No amount of love, is able to prevent the calamity that arises from lack of boundaries from family in marriage. And if you are not able to stand the heat, you might end up divorced and probably with hurting children in the mix afterwards.

This matter that is seldom spoken about is very, very major in marriage and causes a lot of heartache. Marriage is already not easy even for the best marriages. Then you add to the mix a spouse who does not understand where to draw the line when it comes to his or her family, is recipe for disaster.

The most painful thing to experience as a spouse in such situations is to see the person you love, respect and hold in high esteem become like a helpless child in the face of their family, sometimes resentful about the position they in but convinced they are powerless about finding a solution. Leaving you in a place of resentment and constant chaos… It’s not a great place to be.

No matter how polished, rich educated, fine etc they are, it will never compensate for the pain and chaos that spouse brings because of the lack of sense of boundaries when it comes to their family or their refusal to do anything about it.

Sometimes, I wonder why we don’t often hear sermons about this silent epidemic in marriages especially in our setting, considering how we seem to hate divorce more than God himself and stigmatize people especially women who go through with it.

If we abhor divorce then we must start tackling other root causes that we refuse to talk about.

Dear person about to marry, open your eyes, don’t ignore redflags, you have the power of choice, use it wisely.

Financially Crippled and in an abusive relationship? – Have a Plan

Just sending warm thoughts to our sisters in abusive marriages and relationships. I know leaving an abusive union is really difficult for most women because of financial difficulties. So here’s my suggestion.

Have a exit plan

1. If you realize he’s abusive please decide not to have another child. Please go to the health center and get help to decide birth control methods that work for you.

2. Go back to school/add value to yourself if you are in this bracket. Focus your energy on building your career and personal development. (I know this option might not work for some abuse victims)

3. Save some money. No matter what don’t touch that money.

4. Start figuring out accommodation options, school for your child etc.

5. Reach out to a lawyer for guidance.

6. If your family is super supportive let them in on the plan otherwise keep them out of it.

7. Find a trusted friend to help you. You will need help.

8. Pack an emergency bag for yourself and your children if you have any. Make copies of the house keys. Keep all your valuables, important certificates, passports, important documents and keep them safe outside of the house.

9. Never ever threaten to leave him. Some women lost their lives through that.

10. When the coast is clear leave quietly. Call whoever you confided in to be your ally and your lawyer. Never disclose your location. Depending on the situation, your children might be out of school for a few days as you adjust to your new life.

11. If you believe in in prayer, pray for wisdom and courage.

I know you’ve been beaten down either physically, mentally, emotionally, verbally and/or financially a lot. This robs you of your courage and sense of self. I have great news for you….. I’ve seen so many women make a strong come back after abuse that I believe that no matter what you’ve been through, you can heal from it and go on to have an amazing life. You are gorgeous, simply priceless and amazing! Always speak positively to yourself and watch your life change. There’s power in words❤️🙏🏾.

#LeaveToLive

*Features image is culled from the Internet*

Envious Of Your Spouse?

I made a discovery a while ago that I am still trying to come to terms with. I had observed that in marriage, your partner can envy you for the privileges you enjoyed whiles growing up. I realized that this slowly grows into resentment of you especially if they had a difficult beginning and it forms a basis for them to judge you on everything you do.Some even go lengths to ensure your life is painful because of it. In their minds your life has been easy and they need to teach you what life is about.

During a discussion with a group of women, one person mentioned this issue, naturally I was curious to hear what others had to say, some of them had experienced it. I was surprised beyond words that what I had always suspected was actually real.
So I am putting it out there, it is absolutely ridiculous to envy your spouse’s growing up years and make it your mission to expose her to a harsh life because of that. I can’t even wrap my head around this. It’s ridiculous!
I’m sorry you had a rough childhood but your wife or partner is not the cause of it so why punish her?

Secondly I think both of you bring a set of strengths to the marriage via your experiences that can be a plus if you are able to overcome this ridiculousness.
I also realize envy is a very ugly spirit that rules our society and so maybe I should not be surprised it surfaced in marriage right?

People compete with each other in marriage. Some are envious of their partners successes and become resentful. In my opinion if you are married and your partner is doing well is it not a good thing? Especially if it is a good marriage and you are supporting each other to succeed. It is a good thing when wifey progresses and it is a good thing when hubby progresses or am I missing something? Sometimes progress happens to both of you at the same time. Other times it might happen at completely different times.

This envy business we carry everywhere, is sickening. I was stunned when many years ago a co-worker took me aside and said to me, ‘you see this person he is from a rich family, so does not know suffering and so does not respect anybody so don’t be nice to him.’ I just smiled and did exactly the opposite. I’m sorry but I don’t know how to be cruel to someone without cause.

People who grow up ‘privileged’ have issues too. Money is good. Money is able to solve a lot of ills but money doesn’t buy health, true love, healthy friendships and relationships and a whole lot of beautiful intangibles. S0 you meet someone that you think is privileged don’t hate on the person, just show kindness because everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. A battle that money cannot stop.

@Emefa Gadze, October 2017