The Great Disconnect

For a while now I’ve been burdened by the disconnect that is deep within the Christian faith and how we relate with the world around us.

One of my favorite Bible study times in church a few years ago centered around being billboards for Christ. What I learnt in that season still lives within me. It guides me in how I relate to people and respond to situations. Do I get it right all the time, no but there is a deliberate conscious intention to live my life in such a way that communicates the love of Christ to people I encounter in life.

It’s been with great discomfort in the pit of my belly that I watch in horror how many of us who profess Christ are the vilest towards people and very worldly when it comes to day to day situations.

I thought to bring this gentle reminder that once we profess Christ, it’s important to understand that love is very fundamental of the faith we’ve committed to. This means, our personal opinions take back seat. This commitment to Christ is surrendering what you think love is and being open to understanding what His love is.

Two prayers that help me navigate life:

Father, teach me how to love this person. If they are people in my inner circle I pray… Please show me their love language.

In sticky situations where it’s not obviously black and white, I pray

Father show me what to do in this situation that reflects you. Help me be your billboard.

God is love. That is the summary of the big Bible we carry back and forth. The conclusion of it all is love. Accepting God’s unconditional love allowing it to fill all the spaces and places where we need it the most. Surrendering our personal perception of what we think love is. Allowing this tremendous love to transform us daily and mirroring it back to the world around us.

It’s disheartening to see that usually the people who are most brutal in comment sections over issues, when you go and check their profile is speaking about God and their faith in Christ.

The corruption happening in places all around the world is committed by people who profess faith in Christ.

The oppression of the poor, the injustices against minorities, the racial and tribal bigotry, the abuse of women, children and sometimes men… .. All the evils is perpetuated by people who do it in the name of God.

The way we look down on single mums especially some of our church spaces, the way we have categories for them….the most respected are widows, then divorces because they’ve been married before so at least they are honorable. Then in another breath, we judge them for leaving their marriages, as for the women who have babies out of wedlock(aka baby mamas), they and their children are the least embraced and respected.

The hierarchy we’ve allotted to sin. Sin is sin, there’s no hierarchy to it. Lying, cheating, pornography, adultery, dishonesty, being a bully a general lack of integrity in how we operate in life are all on the same level.

The way we treat women even in Church spaces is so appalling. These are people created in the image of God but whose abuse stems from the wrong teachings and interpretations we’ve given the scriptures just to feed our egos.

The disconnect is so wide we cannot relate to people the way Christ did whilst on earth so we have created meaningless traditions to make us feel like we are doing things right.

I must say a few of us get it right, but many of us are completely in the way of the gospel reaching hearts because we’ve become a stumbling block through our actions and inactions

One of the places I’ve felt most loved is in Church and it’s the same space I’ve been most wounded because of the ignorance that people who should know better are committed to spewing and acting out.

We cannot continue this way. We are humans so we will not get it right all the time, but it’s important to at least make an effort to commit to reflecting the unconditional love of Christ as we have freely received it.

If you started you don’t know what that looks like, look at yourself, see how God has embraced you fully inspite of all your failings and extend the same grace to another.

It’s not in the abundance of scripture we regurgitate and forward in groups and try to shove down people’s throat; it is how deliberate we are in showing that overwhelming reckless love of God to ALL people without bias.

Pray to God to show you where the disconnect is in your life and how you’ve related to people and situations around you and ask Him to show you how to do it differently going forward and He will show you.

Let us be deliberate about being the billboards for Christ in showing His love in all spaces. It’s only when we go deep in our personal relationship with Christ, embrace His love for us fully, that we will have the capacity to show that same love to ALL people.

Embracing God’s unconditional love for us fully is at the root of #LovingYourselfExtravagantly. It is only when you have that extraordinary love within your heart that you can extend it in its entirerity to others.

Lets commit to knowing better so we can do and be better.

Happy Sunday!

PS:Kindly do a personal study of the whole chapter of 1Cor.13 for more insight

Hope

When we lose hope we become easy prey for oppressors: both physical and spiritual.

My prayer for us all in this season is that God grants us the grace and inner strength to continuously be hopeful no matter what.

That we create communities where when we feel hopeless, we will be lifted by the hope we see in others. Hope has been the Single factor that has pulled many out of unthinkable situations to places of complete liberation and rest.

Let’s acknowledge the pain, hurt, confusion, and the feelings of helplessness/hopelessness; release those and be intentional at guarding our hope.

Hope creates the foundation we need to build what we want to see. Hope enables us to see. Hope enables us to dream. Hope enables us to identify the good. Hope enables us to see stinking situations as manure that can be used to fertilize and realize a beautiful dream.

Hope keeps the atmosphere open and ready for the manifestation of what might seem impossible. Hope enables us to keep taking care of ourselves and putting one foot forward after another because in our minds eye we can see a better tomorrow so we stay preparing for it so that once what our mind sees manifests, we can be in a good place to step fully into it to play our part with excellence.

Hopefull people never lose. Refuse to lose by being quietly or loudly hopeful. Guard against surrendering to hopelessness… It spirals quickly into something else. Even though you can’t see it or feel it hope is been an age old powerful force responsible for creating powerful positive shifts in people, places and situations that were otherwise hopeless.

Never underestimate the power of hope. After you have done all… stand in quiet/loud hope.

RefuseToLose #StandingInQuietHope #Unstoppable #ItsMyBeautifulSeason #ItsYourBeautifulSeason #ItsABeautifulSeason

You’ve Lost Nothing

When any relationship ends, the first thing most people assess is how much they invested in those relationships. It could be a work relationship where you dedicated a good part of your life and talent working for an organization. It could be a friendship, marriage, courtship, business or any other human relationship that helps you to thrive in your world.

Unfortunately, not all of these relationships blossom into what we envisaged them to be initially. It is common to see people walk away and then one is tempted to be bitter after evaluating how much of yourself you poured into that workplace or relationship or partnership.

In my coaching sessions, I have had to dispel such views repeatedly. We are a sum total of our experiences, good, bad and ugly. Yes it is true that we might be served with a raw deal at least once in our lifetime but it all depends on our perspective. You got a tad wiser and because of that can help someone else on their journey or because of that you are able to recognize healthy relationships and value them. You have learnt to love yourself in a healthy way and not throw yourself into situations where you are not appreciated anymore. You have learnt in a beautiful way not to cast your pearls before swine. So something positive came out of a horrendous situation.

The way you see your situation informs your response to it and how well you heal or bounce back. Rehashing negative circumstances over and over and over does not serve one well.

People have a basic human right to make their own choices in life and we do not have control over the kind of choice they will make. Secondly, these rights come with obligations/consequences. The law of Karma like the law of gravity works perfectly whether the person involves believes in it or not. Now back to the hurt and pain; you are hurting because you feel used by a friend, family member, organization or ex-spouse. Worse still you feel like they are winning and you are the one left to pick up the pieces. You dedicated yourself to a job and they throw you out like discarded mango seed without a thought and in some cases without proper severance package. You helped to build the business from scratch and invested so much of time you could have spent with your family into it.

You had this friend you will do anything for. You are there for him/her whenever they need you; you have been a real friend and then unexpectedly they betray you or dump you or do something very ridiculous.

You love your family and would do anything for them, but they do not know how to love you back so they keep taking and taking from you, the one time you decide to look after yourself and tend to your needs, all hell broke loose and you hurt like crazy.

This person promised you heaven on earth; he/she promised to marry you and then decided against it and was too cowardly to even face you with their decision. They broke it off with a text message or on social media.

You gave your all for your marriage to work, you sacrificed yourself, your finances, your all to ensure the marriage works and your spouse did not only turn their back on you; but in an attempt to justify their ridiculous actions they try to tarnish your image along with everything else that is happening as if walking away is not painful enough. Your in-laws who you were kind to, have taken sides with your spouse and are behaving as if you are not human. Some even try to turn the children against you; so in addition to trying to manage what is happening, you now have to deal with children who have attitude.

Your now ex-spouse who you have endured through all the drama and just kept a positive demeanor throughout is now doing everything possible to ruin your peace of mind and that of the children.

You took in domestic help and treated them like family only for them to pay you back with so much pain on so many levels.

You feel used and cheated. You think you have wasted your resources in all these circumstances. You have decided you will not be kind to any human being again! Pause. You will sabotage yourself if you put all humans in the same box. You never know the beauty that awaits you if you can keep an open mind in spite off.

My piece to you is you have NOT lost ANYTHING. See I am not trying to trivalise what happened to you. No…no…no…no…… they just sowed a seed that they will receive an abundance of harvest for. One thing about the law of Karma (the law of sowing and reaping) is that when you sow one seed you reap in multiples. For instance if you plant tomatoes, you do not get only one tomato on the tree, you reap so many tomatoes.

So this is why I can assure you that you have lost nothing. When you were busy planting good seeds, they were busy planting bad seeds, both of you will reap an abundance of whatever it is that you’ve sown. I understand that right now it might not feel that way because life is staring you in the face with all the ‘could haves’ and ‘should have’ conversations that you are perhaps having with yourself. But trust me if you are able to take the steps necessary to heal yourself of the pain and hurt you are feeling right now, and try to process all that has happened or is happening differently. You will realise that even though it might seem like a raw deal is been handed you, because you made positive decisions in the past and did good, that will come back to you, pressed down, shaken together and running over. So let go of all the negative emotions so that you can reap an abundance of all the beautiful things that you have planted.

Bitterness and unforgiveness work like a choked passage which will block your abundance, trust the process and let go!

You’ve lost NOTHING!

@Emefa Gadze August 2017

Striving for wholeness – Educating ourselves on Mental Health Issues

I find our ignorance as a society on mental health issues very disturbing. I read a post recently on social media where the lady who posted it stated that when she was doing a research on the issue of depression, she found out that there was no word in the local language to describe the word, depression.

Mental health issues have been there before the beginning of time but had not been on the increase as in the last century or so and this is as a result of many factors. There has been a breakdown in the family system, this means that people are losing their support systems, not necessarily due to bad reasons even though some of the reasons are due to dysfunctional families and communities. These days many families are scattered across the globe because of economic, educational, health and other personal reasons.

Our lifestyles are changing into very fast paced ones and many people are juggling so much. We are adopting first world lifestyles; so increasingly many first world problems are rearing their heads here as well. It seems odd to me each time I see a post about family and all I see is mum, dad and kids. That’s nuclear family, family in the Ghanaian setting has been more than that. Cousins, aunties, uncles, grandpas and grandmums, nephews and nieces form family in that sense of the word. Apart from it being cultural, this systems when it was effective served as a safety net and cushioned members from the harsh realities of the world. Now these systems are fading fast also because we have not found effective ways in which to preserve the ties and keep connecting with each other without it being detrimental to the nuclear so many people sometimes by choice in protecting the nuclear family just cut off the extended one completely, thus throwing out the baby with the bath water.

Many people live and manage their lives alone in this era than any other era in the past. Technology has served as a double edged sword as it has helped advance society in a lot of ways but is also become the number one terrorist in destroying relationships as these days it is a luxury to have face to face meetings with people as everyone just depends on technology to connect.

Our value system has completely shifted from people and relationships to things. People are valued most not based on character anymore but all based on some image that they seem to project. There is the intense societal pressure to be more materially, thus the majority is chasing material wealth at the detriment of relationships.

You find a person working 2, 3 or 4 jobs trying to maybe honestly make a living or mostly trying to earn enough to rub shoulders with the joneses.
We have organisations, whose value systems pay lip service to healthy relationships and families. It is all about the bottom-line with insane competition and deadlines. We are proud to call it a dog eat dog world because of the aggressiveness needed to excel in those environments.

The news both local and international is filled with such negativity because those are the stories that sell. Good news seem to be boring.

The list goes on and on, and that is why we as a society, nation and continent need to pay more attention to mental health issues. This can no longer be swept under the carpet. We cannot continue to spiritualise issues that have their solutions in science. Don’t get me wrong, I believe in Jesus as my Lord and personal savior. I believe in the trinity and I believe in the bible as the true, undisputed word of God. I have absolute belief in the faith I practice and in the Almighty God I serve.

I believe that NOTHING is impossible with God, including the healing of mental diseases, cancer, headaches, tummy ache and pain, whether physical or emotional. I believe in miracles when it comes to health, I have witnessed many and been a gracious recipient of such miracles as well myself. The fact that I have this believe does not mean that when I am sick I should not seek medical attention. I will by all means seek medical attention and pray also for wisdom for the health professionals to diagnose and treat properly.

The mind is part of the body; we are body, soul and spirit and each part need the right amount of attention and care to achieve wholeness.
Issues, such as the death of a loved one, the difficulties and breakdown of relationships (marital, sibling, parental, friendships, work, family) and divorce are major issues that need to be acknowledged and treated with the care and wisdom it needs. Unfortunately, what do we see? We see people being rushed through the process of grief and whatever trauma it is that they are experiencing. We tease incessantly and ridicule people trying to make major life adjustments as a result of traumatic events.

We judge, criticize, insult and do everything in our power to ‘help them snap out of their foolishness’ when all they need really is therapy.

As a life coach, I have seen too many unshed tears of people trying to be strong, I have heard stories and seen people criticized for not having enough faith, or having self-pity and scriptures are hurled at them when truly all they need is a therapist to help them navigate that season of life.

My people, there is such a thing as mental health issue and a person does not need to be on the street in shabby clothes in order to be classified as suffering from it.

It comes in the form of that high level executive who is fabulous at their job, looks perfect, is living the dream everyone in the corporate world is trying to achieve.

It comes in the form of that man who looks so fine and all macho on the outside and seem to have everything under control.

It comes in the form of that incessant talkative who just cannot shut up and talks everyone’s ears off. It comes in the form of that person who is seen as the life of every party. It also comes in the form of a very quiet, private person.

It appears in the form of that teenager we keep ignoring and brushing off as having no problem because he/she is well-fed, attends an awesome school, has all the basics of life and then some, including amazing parents.

It appears in the form of that person grieving their loved one even after years of losing them.

It comes in the form of a new mum, who is supposed to be happy for the birth of her child but is unable to because they feel lost and no one around understands what is wrong with them.

In short, mental health issues are no respecter of persons. Rich, poor, famous, whatever you are, whoever you are just like anyone can have a stomach ache, anyone can suffer from any form of mental health disease, especially depression which seems to be the most common, the most overlooked and the least attended to, of them all.

I was horrified when I got to know that women who suffer multiple miscarriages do not have access to counselors or therapist to help them deal with the trauma that sometimes characterizes infertility issues. Losing one pregnancy is bad enough let alone multiple pregnancies and undergoing all the treatments and surgeries that sometimes women need to undergo to have babies can be life altering, yet there seem to be no professional help for such people. The few women I spoke with did not even know, they can get help if they choose to outside the system.

The lack of sensitivity and awareness of such issues need to stop starting with everyone who reads this article. Our behaviours push people further into their abyss of pain. And oh I do not mean the ordinary person on the street, I mean behaviours of family, friends, church family, etc.

When people are depressed or suffer from any form of mental health issue it is not because they do not trust God, they just need professional help. And also people with depression can be high functioning as well, remain on the job and delivering excellent results. So the picture of depression is not of someone who cannot get out of bed only, it is also of that person who seems to be the life of the party, cheering everyone up.

Seek help if you are going through a major life altering situation such as divorce, death of a loved one, work, family and friendship relationships gone bad, emotional pain etc. Seeking help is a sign of being self-aware, healthy self-love and strength. Encourage people you love to seek help when they need to, by all means pray for them. Prayer works wonders but a combination of prayer and the right information/set of tools can be go a long way to bring in the much needed balance.

Let’s educate ourselves on mental health issues especially if you work with people, are into ministry, church workers, parents, educationist, leaders and managers in the workplace, community leaders so we can relate and serve the people who come to us better.

In that way we will be working together to achieving wholeness in our families, communities, nation and impact other nations of the world.

@Emefa Gadze April 2017

I have a dream

I have a dream of a generation of women who will master the art of forgiveness for both self and others.

A generation of women who will seek knowledge in how to wisely manage pain in order to live very productive lives.

A generation of women who have the wisdom to be as wise as serpents yet harmless as doves.

A generation of women who understand their worth enough not to allow themselves to be continually abused, mastering the courage to speak up in the right settings and seek justice depending on the circumstances.

A generation of women who have an understanding that men are not necessarily the problem but a warped system that seeks to excuse the inexcusable and this system has some women as stakeholders. That it is this system that we must all work together to overhaul.

A generation of women who will see men as partners in development and dig inside them to find the wisdom necessary to work effectively together to bring about the change we all desperately need.

A generation of women who will channel their energy into positive things, surrounding themselves with a village of positive empowering people who absolutely believe in them.

A generation of women who will actually love themselves enough to pause, rest and smell the flowers without feeling guilty about what is left undone. Women who have a complete and absolute understanding of the fact that you cannot pour out of an empty cup; that you are setting up yourself for failure when you continually do so.

A generation of women who have an understanding that they have to be financially savvy and not spend all their monies on shoes, bags and bling so they can invest for the future.

A generation of women who will have an understanding of the fact that the kind of man you choose is important to your success as a person, it determines how far you go in life so that they do not rush to marry just to silence the critics.

A generation of women who can discern who a good man is and not take him for granted.

A generation of women who will understand the powerful role of motherhood as stewardship. Women who will raise their sons to become great husbands,fathers and human beings.

A generation of women who understand that wisdom is respecting the man they decide to spend the rest of their lives with. Who understand that balance is necessary for progress.

A generation of women who understand that sometimes zipping your lips is wisdom and not a sign of being abused.

A generation of women who understand the power of femininity in a positive way, who know or continuously learn how to fight like a woman.

A generation of women who will understand that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes and the goal is just to stay healthy. Who will learn to quiet the inner critic and love themselves.

A generation of women who love themselves enough to learn how to be Single, Sassy and Satisfied instead of jumping into toxic relationships.

A generation of women who will have the understanding that their marital status is not who they are and that in the kind of world we live in now, not all women will get married and be at peace with that.

A generation of women who will understand what it means to actively wait for Mr. Right, and not spend perhaps one of the most productive stage of their lives miserable over the finding of Mr. Right.

A generation of women who have the understanding that they are created in the image of God according to His likeness. And you only need to look at nature to see the awesomeness of God. Which means they are awesome and can achieve anything and everything they put their minds to.

A generation of women who have the understanding and rest in the assurance that they are Daddy’s little girls irrespective of age, God’s own heartbeat who is completely jealous over them and constantly looking out for them and always has their back.

A generation of women who will have an understanding that they cannot accomplish all of the above until they become self-aware, and continually keep themselves grounded.

I have a dream.

@Emefa Gadze, January 2017

How Much Longer….?

I woke up this morning with one of my favorite bible verses and a question on my mind. I asked God how much longer do I have to be strong? You see, sometimes you are strong because you just have to be; because the cost of giving up is unimaginably high not in terms of money alone, but in terms of destinies that will be messed up because you gave up.

I learnt a long time ago that this right here, is not about me. It is more about those I am called to. Those people whose paths will light up because I chose to walk my path, because I chose courage over fears and doubts, because I chose to believe I can walk on water and achieve the unimaginable because I have the Almighty God by my side.

For many days I have had struggling families and single parent homes on my mind, especially since the school year has started for some and is about to start for others.

So, I see you, you woman who is perceived as married yet because of circumstances beyond the control of both you and your husband, you carry all the financial responsibilities of the home and wonder how you are going to raise fees for 4 children and other back to school supplies yet again.

I see you, the man who is trying to make ends meet for the family, who hates to see how his dear wife has to struggle to do what he knows is his responsibility to do but for some strange reason, the heavens seem to be shut on you and your efforts to provide do not yield the desired results.

I see you the man or woman who has done their best and continue to do so, but your spouses are simply unappreciative and whatever you do it is not good enough yet you faithfully stay the path because your have totally surrended to your maker and choose to please Him: I see you.

I see you, that widow/widower who have to navigate the new world of being single again. As your heart aches for your loved one, you also must gird your loins and ignore the pain because important decisions must be made. Your children are looking to you for comfort so you are staying strong for them. There are so many adjustments to make and you are wondering whether you will survive this, I see you.

I see you my dear single parent, whose other partner is alive and well yet has shirked their responsibilities by being emotionally distant, not contributing their quota, rejecting the children and/or literally behaving like clowns now that another school year has started, I see you.

I see those of you who are dealing with all this in addition to being there for a special needs child, parent or sibling. I see you.

You know, when I asked God the question of how much longer, I heard a still small voice telling me, God honors and rewards those who do not give up. So my friends, if you are wondering how you are going to do it again this school year, my answer is doesn’t it just amaze you the kinds of things you have triumphed and survived?

The longer I am blessed to live on this earth, the more convinced I am of one truth; it is almost impossible to defeat the human spirit that is focused and determined to reach a particular goal.

So for you my dear brave and courageous one, even though you may not feel that way right now, giving up is not an option. By all means pray, yell the frustrations out at God, cry, seek help and do whatever you need to do positively to get back on your feet but don’t Give Up…For God rewards and honors those who do not give up.

God bless you and your families abundantly in whichever way you need it in this new school year and beyond.

@ Emefa Gadze

Lets Cut Them Some Slack!

I have always wondered how as Christians we always go to God seeking mercy and really hopeful that God will be merciful to us yet we do not show mercy to people around us.

It beats my mind especially how we judge people who marry into our families….yes I am talking about in-laws specifically people who marry our brothers, sisters, cousins, uncles and aunts.

So many homes have been wrecked as a result of attitudes of members of the families they are married into. I must admit that there are some families that support marriages to work. Over the years, as I observed and listened to stories I realise that such success stories didn’t just happen, these exceptional families were very intentional in their actions and inactions.

Marriage is hard work and no one ever has experience before getting into one nor is there an institution for Marriage Studies. Even those who are in their second and third etc. marriages still make mistakes because no one is perfect. In fact statistics has it that a higher percentage of second and third etc marriages end up in divorce.

So the question is why do we subject our in-laws to such scrutiny? Why is it that nothing they do is good enough? Why is it that all of a sudden our own relations are without fault and all the fault is heaped on the “outsider” who came into the marriage? Sometimes we do not even give them time to adjust before we pounce on them criticising them every step of the way…from how they dress… to how they talk ….to how hospitable they are…how neat the home is….to how long they stay away from the house…what is being cooked at what time…to how the children are being brought up…to etc, etc. Eg. Many years ago, a young lady came to me complaining about her brother’s wife, her complaint was she cooked yam for dinner…I looked at her incredulously and asked what is wrong with that? Now it was her turn to be surprised…she said yam is not meant to be eaten for supper; I laughed so hard and asked… says who? Who made that decree? We judge people, based on our worldview. This young lady was brought up with certain beliefs and so was using that as a measure to judge her brother’s wife and was making a whole issue out of what I see as nothing.

Research has it that the 1st 5 years of a marriage is usually the most turbulent for most couples because of adjustment issues. Throw in the dynamics of in-laws and chances of such marriages surviving become very slim. This leaves husbands and wives broken and hurting, some heal with time most never do. Children most of the time are the worst hit by this.

As a child, I watched this drama unfold in our home and I purposed in my heart never to be a pain in the lives of my future in-laws. I realised the power a sister-in-law can have when one day, one of my brothers called me to complain about his wife. I remembered my childhood pledge and one of the things I said to him was “as much as I love you, I can never be your wife, you got married not long ago, so it is natural that things will crop up, even though you come from the same tribe her upbringing is different from yours, your wife is a great person but not perfect, don’t expect perfection. You are a great person but you are not perfect either so pray to God for wisdom and see how best to navigate this turn” After he hang up I realised how I could have muddied the waters further and the power I had momentarily to contribute negatively to an already tense situation.

By the grace of God I have a fantastic, mutually respectful relationship with the spouses of my relatives. Are they perfect…oh no! Are my perfect, definitely not! But I have made a decision, to love them and choose to concentrate on their positive sides and affirm them. I love my brothers and other relations, cousins, nephews and nieces too much to want to land them in a broken home situation as a result of my actions or inactions.

This Christmas season, families are going to gather and these issues are going to crop up, how would you handle negative comments from family members urging you on to cause havoc in a marriage?

Remember God hates divorce according to Malachi 2:16a

Sometimes in marriage, life happens and couples decide to split but it will be on the safer side to ensure that we are not party to or instigators of events leading to such decisions because Matthew 18:6 says

“But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in and acknowledge and cleave to Me to stumble and sin [that is, who entices him or hinders him in right conduct or thought], it would be better (more expedient and profitable or advantageous) for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be sunk in the depth of the sea” (AMP)

If you are troubled by events in a loved one’s marriage in your family, I suggest you take it to God in prayer; let’s all be intentional in praying for marriages in our families. Sometimes, things need to be talked about so ask God for wisdom on how to go about it and I trust He will direct your path; but most of the time, I strongly suggest we stay out of people’s marriages, it’s hard enough…..they don’t need another person to further stir the waters to make it unbearable.

As we go through the seasons of life, let’s remember to cut our in-laws some slack.

Enjoy a peaceful weekend!

God bless

Emefa Gadze

The Power in Testimonies

Lately I have wondered why we do not have slots for testimonies in the house of the Lord. I am very positive it is one of the reasons why we have many anxious believers. The bible says, ‘And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the words of their testimonies and they did not love their lives to the death’ Rev.12:11.

The recent very much publicised marriage of Gifty Anti at the age of 45 confirmed to me why there is so much unbelief in the body of Christ. The fact that she went public with something so personal has renewed hope in the lives of a lot of women. Social media was bursting at the seems with a lot of comments and one that I can remember so well is ‘What if she had rushed to have a child just because she felt she was growing old’

I observed that a lot of people saw her marriage as a rare occurrence because of her age; honestly the reaction of the public to this beautiful news was a great eye-opener for me. I remember commenting to a friend that ‘what is the bruhaha about, why are people shocked to see her getting married, she is a beautiful, intelligent, accomplished woman with a strong faith in Christ so as for me I knew it was just a matter of time before the right man identified that’; then my friend responded ‘Emefa, the circle you move in is different oh, such stories are common place for you but for many people, this is a miracle’ That set me thinking hard because many of these Ghanaians are church goers, yet the church has scheduled out testimony time from their programs. Even in churches where this is the practice, very little time is allocated to it making people, to rush through the testimonies. I understand that some people just come and wind long tales but a system can be put in place to cut that out and allow really genuine people who have testimonies to share enough time to share them because sometimes the miracle is not necessarily the end story but the whole journey.

As I thought about the reaction to Oheneyire Gifty Anti’s news, I became even more burdened that the church needs to bring back testimony time to encourage the brethren in their walk with God. God has been doing a lot for His people, it is just that the platform is not given to share these testimonies. The result is many people are discouraged in the Body thinking God is not able to do what He has promised, when people are sitting on their testimonies in those same congregations.

Another reason why we should encourage testimonies in Christian gatherings today is so we can leave a good legacy for the next generation. Already we have a new generation of women who have believed the lie that they have to go through cesarean section to birth their babies. Some have been fed with so much fear from the doctors that, they elect to have surgery to take the baby out, especially among the educated elite in the cities. Meanwhile, I have heard many stories where doctors predict that women cannot give birth naturally due to age and they have given birth, in fact some women rush to marry for the fear that once they hit their thirties, childbirth will be difficult.

There is so much fear, anxiety about marriage, late marriage, not finding the right one, not having a child, spouses not changing, etc etc. The latest in the fear/anxiety/panic series is that you must give birth in the 1st year of your marriage for the fear that you might not have a child soon enough. Many people have murdered their marriages on the alter of fear as they rush to have children without really having fun and getting to know each other well for at least a year (What happened to and the just shall live by faith?). Then children set in with responsibilities and then those whose foundations were already shaky start giving way under the pressure that having young children brings into a marriage.

The issue of not having testimony time in our churches is gone beyond, ‘we don’t have time’ we need to make the time because many people are compromising God’s standards because they have lost hope. For those of us who have been sitting on our testimonies, lets repent from today and share them when the time comes so God’s children can find hope. We have to be conscious of the fact that it is not about us. It is about the larger picture; the Christian journey is not easy at all and who knows, perhaps it is your testimony that will make a difference in someone’s life.

Let us together from today pray that the doors of our Christian gatherings will open once again to testimonies and also that people will be bold to share their testimonies to glorify God and to strengthen the brethren.

Have a blessed week!

Emefa Gadze

An Inheritance or a Paycheck: Which one do you prefer?

Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.

Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward and that master you are serving is Christ. Col. 3:23-24 (NLT)

Whatever maybe your task, work at it heartily (from the soul), as (something done for the Lord not for men; knowing (with certainty) that is from the Lord (and not from men) that you will receive the inheritance which is your (real) reward. (The one whom) you are actually serving (is) the Lord Christ (the Messiah). Col. 3:23-24 (AMP)

Servants, do what you’re told by your earthly masters. And don’t just do the minimum that will get you by. Do your best. Work from the heart for your real Master, for God, confident that you’ll get paid in full when you come into your inheritance. Keep in mind always that the ultimate Master you’re serving is Christ. The sullen servant who does shoddy work will be held responsible. Being a follower of Jesus doesn’t cover up bad work. Col. 3:23-24 (MSG)

My favorite is the MSG version, phew God’s standards are sure high! Sometimes when I read the bible I say to myself, this is a hard saying, who can bear J but I remember that God is the one who gives us power to become children of God. Which means we are unable to obey His word by our own strength unless we are willing and surrendered, then he empowers us to obey Him.

That being said, the reality is some work environments are just toxic. The in-thing in most places is most businesses and organisations are more concerned about the bottom line than the people who work for them. This leaves room for abuse because whoever can work the system by ‘whatever’ means gets to win.

This message is for those who have done their homework well. You are abreast with happenings in your area of expertise and then some. You have upgraded yourself such that the only thing you have not done yet is a PhD! You are diligent in your work, working well with the right attitude and excellently. You have prayed, fasted, sent out several applications, attended interviews in the hope to change jobs yet nothing positive comes up. It looks like your life sentence is just working smart and hard whiles watching other people who seem not to be putting in much effort reap the rewards. You have spoken up several times about this to your supervisors and HR and you get full assurance that you will be sorted yet you keep being overlooked all the time for promotion.

Interestingly, you have become an institution J (no pun intended!) for training people who are strategically placed and eventually move into more rewarding positions. In the meantime, your 40ft containers full of prophesies of your impending breakthroughs are exploding at the seams. God has even confirmed to you personally several times that He will do it. Amazingly, you stand in the gap for other people regarding the same issue and like magic things fall into pleasant places for them.

In my Christian walk I have come to believe that even though the word of God sounds FOOLISH most times, when you brace yourself and obey, the rewards are mind-blowing. A sister-friend of mine always says that God is a show-man and I have personally experienced that truth in my life; He is indeed a showman. I can say without reservation that if you are an obedient Christian, there is no way you will lose out. Even if what you believed God for does not materialize in your lifetime, generations after you in your bloodline will enjoy the good seeds you are sowing today.

I know generational thinking is not very popular in this era, we want everything and we want it now but really when you think about it which one is better, great paycheck with super position and benefits or a lovely inheritance from our Lord Jesus Christ who has the whole world with its riches in His hands? You be the judge.

He might even choose to pleasantly surprise you with both the great paycheck with super position and benefits and a lovely inheritance. He is God and sovereign so after you have done all my brothers and sisters just stand. Your labour will NEVER be in vain. He is super faithful.

Hugs to all who are feeling unappreciated/unrewarded/invincible/ in the workplace.

Have a rewarding day!

Emefa Gadze

God Is Your Source

How often do we blame people for not providing our needs? I mean relational, material, social, financial needs etc.

As many times as we read the bible and see all the promises in there for us, as many times as we actually experience God’s divine intervention in our lives, as human as were are, we are still prone to putting our trust in people to fulfill our needs.

I have found that there is nothing as liberating as coming to the revelation knowledge of God as your Source. When you see God as your Source, it changes your whole attitude and your perception of life. You no longer look to man (human beings) to fulfill your needs and neither do you get upset when those you feel are obligated in a way fail to fulfill their obligations or promises. You work out of your heart whether the employer is appreciative or not, you love your family and do your part whether they reciprocate or not, infact your actions are no longer reactive, but proactive. Your actions or inactions are not determined by what someone does or does not do.

Prov. 21:1 says ‘The heart of the King is in the hand of the Lord and he directs it like a watercourse wherever he pleases” NIV. This means it is only God who can touch the heart of any man (human being) to act favourably towards you. This means, the one to look up to with absolute trust is God not Greg or Kojo or that Director who was supposed to have given you that contract.

Jeremaiah. 17:5-6 (NIV)

5 This is what the LORD says:

   “Cursed is the one who trusts in man,

   who draws strength from mere flesh

   and whose heart turns away from the LORD.

6 That person will be like a bush in the wastelands;

   they will not see prosperity when it comes.

They will dwell in the parched places of the desert,

   in a salt land where no one lives.

It is not surprising we go through such excruciating and unnecessary pain whenever someone especially the other parent disappoints us by not keeping to promises made to us or even to the children.

Jeremaiah. 17:7&8 (NIV)

7 “But blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD,

whose confidence is in him.

8 They will be like a tree planted by the water

that sends out its roots by the stream.

It does not fear when heat comes;

its leaves are always green.

It has no worries in a year of drought

and never fails to bear fruit.”

Psalm 125:1 says ‘Those who trust in the LORD are like Mount Zion, which cannot be shaken but endures forever’

The snare often is, whenever God touches a person’s heart to act favorably towards us, we shift our focus from God our Source to the vessel of the blessing. This is a form of idolatory and God who is a jealous God start fighting us because He refuses to share his glory with anyone! We are to be very appreciative of the vessels of blessings in our lives but wary of turning them into gods.

It is my heart desire that we will continually choose to let go of all the people and organizations who in our opinion have let us down one way or the other and walk in the liberty of focusing on God as our only Source.

All we need to do is make that very important decision and ask God to grant us the grace to continually walk in this revelation.

It works, it really works. The peace is inexplicable and the joy is complete.

Have a very blessed Weekend

Emefa