Hope

When we lose hope we become easy prey for oppressors: both physical and spiritual.

My prayer for us all in this season is that God grants us the grace and inner strength to continuously be hopeful no matter what.

That we create communities where when we feel hopeless, we will be lifted by the hope we see in others. Hope has been the Single factor that has pulled many out of unthinkable situations to places of complete liberation and rest.

Let’s acknowledge the pain, hurt, confusion, and the feelings of helplessness/hopelessness; release those and be intentional at guarding our hope.

Hope creates the foundation we need to build what we want to see. Hope enables us to see. Hope enables us to dream. Hope enables us to identify the good. Hope enables us to see stinking situations as manure that can be used to fertilize and realize a beautiful dream.

Hope keeps the atmosphere open and ready for the manifestation of what might seem impossible. Hope enables us to keep taking care of ourselves and putting one foot forward after another because in our minds eye we can see a better tomorrow so we stay preparing for it so that once what our mind sees manifests, we can be in a good place to step fully into it to play our part with excellence.

Hopefull people never lose. Refuse to lose by being quietly or loudly hopeful. Guard against surrendering to hopelessness… It spirals quickly into something else. Even though you can’t see it or feel it hope is been an age old powerful force responsible for creating powerful positive shifts in people, places and situations that were otherwise hopeless.

Never underestimate the power of hope. After you have done all… stand in quiet/loud hope.

RefuseToLose #StandingInQuietHope #Unstoppable #ItsMyBeautifulSeason #ItsYourBeautifulSeason #ItsABeautifulSeason

The In-law Factor and Lack of Boundaries in Marriage

The wedding season has began and many people are preparing to get married before the end of the year well into February the next year.

If your partner is the type who is not able to set boundaries with parents and family members now, please think twice before you commit.

No amount of love, is able to prevent the calamity that arises from lack of boundaries from family in marriage. And if you are not able to stand the heat, you might end up divorced and probably with hurting children in the mix afterwards.

This matter that is seldom spoken about is very, very major in marriage and causes a lot of heartache. Marriage is already not easy even for the best marriages. Then you add to the mix a spouse who does not understand where to draw the line when it comes to his or her family, is recipe for disaster.

The most painful thing to experience as a spouse in such situations is to see the person you love, respect and hold in high esteem become like a helpless child in the face of their family, sometimes resentful about the position they in but convinced they are powerless about finding a solution. Leaving you in a place of resentment and constant chaos… It’s not a great place to be.

No matter how polished, rich educated, fine etc they are, it will never compensate for the pain and chaos that spouse brings because of the lack of sense of boundaries when it comes to their family or their refusal to do anything about it.

Sometimes, I wonder why we don’t often hear sermons about this silent epidemic in marriages especially in our setting, considering how we seem to hate divorce more than God himself and stigmatize people especially women who go through with it.

If we abhor divorce then we must start tackling other root causes that we refuse to talk about.

Dear person about to marry, open your eyes, don’t ignore redflags, you have the power of choice, use it wisely.

You’ve Lost Nothing

When any relationship ends, the first thing most people assess is how much they invested in those relationships. It could be a work relationship where you dedicated a good part of your life and talent working for an organization. It could be a friendship, marriage, courtship, business or any other human relationship that helps you to thrive in your world.

Unfortunately, not all of these relationships blossom into what we envisaged them to be initially. It is common to see people walk away and then one is tempted to be bitter after evaluating how much of yourself you poured into that workplace or relationship or partnership.

In my coaching sessions, I have had to dispel such views repeatedly. We are a sum total of our experiences, good, bad and ugly. Yes it is true that we might be served with a raw deal at least once in our lifetime but it all depends on our perspective. You got a tad wiser and because of that can help someone else on their journey or because of that you are able to recognize healthy relationships and value them. You have learnt to love yourself in a healthy way and not throw yourself into situations where you are not appreciated anymore. You have learnt in a beautiful way not to cast your pearls before swine. So something positive came out of a horrendous situation.

The way you see your situation informs your response to it and how well you heal or bounce back. Rehashing negative circumstances over and over and over does not serve one well.

People have a basic human right to make their own choices in life and we do not have control over the kind of choice they will make. Secondly, these rights come with obligations/consequences. The law of Karma like the law of gravity works perfectly whether the person involves believes in it or not. Now back to the hurt and pain; you are hurting because you feel used by a friend, family member, organization or ex-spouse. Worse still you feel like they are winning and you are the one left to pick up the pieces. You dedicated yourself to a job and they throw you out like discarded mango seed without a thought and in some cases without proper severance package. You helped to build the business from scratch and invested so much of time you could have spent with your family into it.

You had this friend you will do anything for. You are there for him/her whenever they need you; you have been a real friend and then unexpectedly they betray you or dump you or do something very ridiculous.

You love your family and would do anything for them, but they do not know how to love you back so they keep taking and taking from you, the one time you decide to look after yourself and tend to your needs, all hell broke loose and you hurt like crazy.

This person promised you heaven on earth; he/she promised to marry you and then decided against it and was too cowardly to even face you with their decision. They broke it off with a text message or on social media.

You gave your all for your marriage to work, you sacrificed yourself, your finances, your all to ensure the marriage works and your spouse did not only turn their back on you; but in an attempt to justify their ridiculous actions they try to tarnish your image along with everything else that is happening as if walking away is not painful enough. Your in-laws who you were kind to, have taken sides with your spouse and are behaving as if you are not human. Some even try to turn the children against you; so in addition to trying to manage what is happening, you now have to deal with children who have attitude.

Your now ex-spouse who you have endured through all the drama and just kept a positive demeanor throughout is now doing everything possible to ruin your peace of mind and that of the children.

You took in domestic help and treated them like family only for them to pay you back with so much pain on so many levels.

You feel used and cheated. You think you have wasted your resources in all these circumstances. You have decided you will not be kind to any human being again! Pause. You will sabotage yourself if you put all humans in the same box. You never know the beauty that awaits you if you can keep an open mind in spite off.

My piece to you is you have NOT lost ANYTHING. See I am not trying to trivalise what happened to you. No…no…no…no…… they just sowed a seed that they will receive an abundance of harvest for. One thing about the law of Karma (the law of sowing and reaping) is that when you sow one seed you reap in multiples. For instance if you plant tomatoes, you do not get only one tomato on the tree, you reap so many tomatoes.

So this is why I can assure you that you have lost nothing. When you were busy planting good seeds, they were busy planting bad seeds, both of you will reap an abundance of whatever it is that you’ve sown. I understand that right now it might not feel that way because life is staring you in the face with all the ‘could haves’ and ‘should have’ conversations that you are perhaps having with yourself. But trust me if you are able to take the steps necessary to heal yourself of the pain and hurt you are feeling right now, and try to process all that has happened or is happening differently. You will realise that even though it might seem like a raw deal is been handed you, because you made positive decisions in the past and did good, that will come back to you, pressed down, shaken together and running over. So let go of all the negative emotions so that you can reap an abundance of all the beautiful things that you have planted.

Bitterness and unforgiveness work like a choked passage which will block your abundance, trust the process and let go!

You’ve lost NOTHING!

@Emefa Gadze August 2017

An Inheritance or a Paycheck: Which one do you prefer?

Work willingly at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people.

Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward and that master you are serving is Christ. Col. 3:23-24 (NLT)

Whatever maybe your task, work at it heartily (from the soul), as (something done for the Lord not for men; knowing (with certainty) that is from the Lord (and not from men) that you will receive the inheritance which is your (real) reward. (The one whom) you are actually serving (is) the Lord Christ (the Messiah). Col. 3:23-24 (AMP)

Servants, do what you’re told by your earthly masters. And don’t just do the minimum that will get you by. Do your best. Work from the heart for your real Master, for God, confident that you’ll get paid in full when you come into your inheritance. Keep in mind always that the ultimate Master you’re serving is Christ. The sullen servant who does shoddy work will be held responsible. Being a follower of Jesus doesn’t cover up bad work. Col. 3:23-24 (MSG)

My favorite is the MSG version, phew God’s standards are sure high! Sometimes when I read the bible I say to myself, this is a hard saying, who can bear J but I remember that God is the one who gives us power to become children of God. Which means we are unable to obey His word by our own strength unless we are willing and surrendered, then he empowers us to obey Him.

That being said, the reality is some work environments are just toxic. The in-thing in most places is most businesses and organisations are more concerned about the bottom line than the people who work for them. This leaves room for abuse because whoever can work the system by ‘whatever’ means gets to win.

This message is for those who have done their homework well. You are abreast with happenings in your area of expertise and then some. You have upgraded yourself such that the only thing you have not done yet is a PhD! You are diligent in your work, working well with the right attitude and excellently. You have prayed, fasted, sent out several applications, attended interviews in the hope to change jobs yet nothing positive comes up. It looks like your life sentence is just working smart and hard whiles watching other people who seem not to be putting in much effort reap the rewards. You have spoken up several times about this to your supervisors and HR and you get full assurance that you will be sorted yet you keep being overlooked all the time for promotion.

Interestingly, you have become an institution J (no pun intended!) for training people who are strategically placed and eventually move into more rewarding positions. In the meantime, your 40ft containers full of prophesies of your impending breakthroughs are exploding at the seams. God has even confirmed to you personally several times that He will do it. Amazingly, you stand in the gap for other people regarding the same issue and like magic things fall into pleasant places for them.

In my Christian walk I have come to believe that even though the word of God sounds FOOLISH most times, when you brace yourself and obey, the rewards are mind-blowing. A sister-friend of mine always says that God is a show-man and I have personally experienced that truth in my life; He is indeed a showman. I can say without reservation that if you are an obedient Christian, there is no way you will lose out. Even if what you believed God for does not materialize in your lifetime, generations after you in your bloodline will enjoy the good seeds you are sowing today.

I know generational thinking is not very popular in this era, we want everything and we want it now but really when you think about it which one is better, great paycheck with super position and benefits or a lovely inheritance from our Lord Jesus Christ who has the whole world with its riches in His hands? You be the judge.

He might even choose to pleasantly surprise you with both the great paycheck with super position and benefits and a lovely inheritance. He is God and sovereign so after you have done all my brothers and sisters just stand. Your labour will NEVER be in vain. He is super faithful.

Hugs to all who are feeling unappreciated/unrewarded/invincible/ in the workplace.

Have a rewarding day!

Emefa Gadze